Total Dismay

Adoration.  Gee willackers. get your minds out of the gutter.

Here’s my tangent; while addressing a crowd of hundreds (note: NOT thousands) of fans, Michael asked someone for the Japanese translation for “I love you” whereupon he bestowed this phrase on the crowd.

 ”I love you” can be literally translated as “aishite imasu.” “Aishiteru,” “aishiteru yo” or “aishiteru wa (female speech)” is normally used in conversation. However, the Japanese don’t say “I love you” as often as Western people do, because of cultural differences. I am not surprised if some Japanese say that they have never used these expressions in their life. 

Namiko Abe

Michael Jackson

“The night of May 27, 2006, in Namibia, Africa, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed their daughter Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. No further information is being given.”

Publicist Cindy Guagenti

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 Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie

Ok, I’ll admit it, I was just being sensational with the title.  A large percentage of the people that phone in Idol votes are still too young to vote in something as important as a federal election and the rest of them are gay, so the overlap is pretty small.  American Idol history has shown us that winning isn’t everything.  Clay Aiken has turned his failed effort at the title into a viable career in entertainment while Ruben Studdard’s Idol win hasn’t translated into huge success.  A sour grapes article about this years result said that Clay eclipsed Ruben.  How close would you have to be to Clay and how far away would Ruben have to be before it could be a total eclipse?  Somebody get a highschool science book, quick.

 American Idol

I got the focus of last week’s Britney news totally wrong. Everyone else was talking about Britney almost falling down with Sean in her arms. And I didn’t even use the word ‘oops’ in my story. I will try to redeem myself. Salon reports that immediately after her stumble with a drink glass in one hand and a baby in the other, Britney exclaimed “This is why I need a gun.” Given the fact that she had her beverage in one hand and her spawn in the other, maybe it should have been “This is why I need a gun, and a third arm.”

Elton John also recently advocated the shooting of photographers. 

Britney Spears

Kevin Federline

Axl Rose’s height is 5 ft 8.5 in (174 cm) 

He’s not some big tough guy.  The guy who writes the  ’society page’ seems to think he is pretty menacing and Tommy Hilfiger had a fight or flight response when faced with being somewhat jostled by the rocker.

The bouncers at the club grew tired of the fashion designer’s flailing girly fists and removed him.

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Axl Rose

Tommy Hilfiger

Once it became clear to Sean Preston that he was being taken out in public wearing a decidedly uncool hat, he lurched into action and freed himself from the fashion faux pas, tout de suite. Parents, just because they have to be dressed by others doesn’t mean babies don’t have certain fashion rights.

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Britney Spears

This Video footage shows some loser whose dad has lots of money publicly unleashing an obscene tirade against Lindsay Lohan while in the company of a gleeful Paris Hilton.  Lindsay’s hygiene and physical attributes are called into question.

1.  PARIS HILTON IS TWENTY FOUR YEARS OLD.  This is stupid highschool shit.  Maybe if Paris had gone to college, she would have witnessed people transitioning to adult behavior and tried to copy them.
2. What in God’s name are the people responsible for this girl doing letting her DRIVE WHILE DRINKING?
3. It is entirely possible that Lindsay may have freckles on her genitals BUT most of us have seen Paris’ genitals and they are not cute at all.
4. What is with the whole ‘HEIR’ thing?  Most people with parents are referred to by some other criterion by the time they are grown up.  Paris must really like them unformed so she can do the adolescent manipulation thing on them.

The above points illustrate how to skillfully make a personal attack on someone.

Lindsay Lohan

Paris Hilton

Brandon Davis

This story is not related to the huge Google censorship issue, here’s the chinese google search page for the movie, everything seems to be in order.

The Chinese government is considering whether or not to issue a distribution license for the movie in light of it’s less than flattering shots of Shanghai.

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Tom Cruise

There is such a thing as learning from other peoples mistakes.  Earlier this month Snoop Dogg was arrested at Heathrow along with most of his entourage for their rowdy behavior.

I would assume that rapper DMX had heard about this, yet he chose to be uncooperative to a flight attendant during the approach to Heathrow.

His behavior was less extreme and the consequence was negligible, but he REALLY should have known better.
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She was late for the public appearance, she used the wrong game title during her announcement and there are rumors circulating that she didn’t design the game herself. But it is still good marketing. They should get her to endorse dog food.

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Paris Hilton