I’m using a bit of hyperbole with my title, but I am cautioned on a fairly regular basis not to create any publicly visible expressions of my bizarre sense of humor.

The internet is a different story. It is as anonymous as you choose to make it for yourself (if you are very careful). I guess if I had a Button Maker I could make a huge collection of Kiss Me I’m (insert heritage here) buttons. And then there are the wonderful slogans that make a ridiculous connection between a vocation and the sexual prowess of the people with that vocation.

I think buttons are considered quaint and understated these days now that people wear t shirts with slogans on them. I worked at a very liberal-minded place where one of my co-workers had bought a Don’t Mess with Texas shirt at the thrift store and then had a patch sewn over the word Don’t. We didn’t have any Texans at work, so nobody messed with him.

I have a large collection of t shirts that don’t say anything at all. Maybe buttons are the answer for those days when I actually do want my clothes to say something. Maybe a yellow happy face on my black shirt. Maybe a Georgia O’Keefe cow skull button on my tan colored shirt. A Pink Floyd button on my plaid cowboy shirt. The possibilities for irony are endless. I think it would even be cool to make buttons that had no message or symbol on them at all. Instead of a Vote or Die button I could have a vote button and a die button and I would have to decide which one to wear every day.