It’s too bad that the main points of interest in Britney’s life have already been done to death in other celebrity memoirs. Brooke Shields had great success with her book that focused on post partum depression. Jerry Stahl is not quite a celebrity (he wrote ALF episodes and shit), but he wrote an excellent book exposing his horrible life while being drug addicted. The shocking thing about his story is that he was a rampant drug abuser during some of his greatest successes. Britney was, according to her statements, only a drug addict during rehab. It’s hard to figure it out from a collection of her statements actually.

I think the celebrity that Britney should try to emulate at this point is Margot Kidder. She is a sought after keynote speaker and has a memoir in the works. She when a bit crazy in the mid 90s, and she is much better now.

Our working at home plans have hit a snag. It has become clear that our bored teenage kids are going to be problematic. I remember quietly reading in my spare time for at least one teenage summer. I read a big Sherlock Holmes complilation and a novel by Mordecai Richler.

I want some suggestions from blog readers about what big books couls capture the mind of bored 13-15 year olds. Please help !!!

I am reading a biography of Johnny Cash. I was a bit shocked at the candor of Dolly Parton when she was recounting her first meeting with him at the tender age of 13.

She is quoted as saying that she would have ‘given it up for him right there in the parking lot.’

I haven’t seen Walk The Line yet, is this moment depicted in the movie?

Another moment, one that I assume must be in the movie is the backstage moment when Johnny informs June of his intention to marry her. They were both married at the time.

More beauty spews forth from the annals of machine generated spam comment text.

I picked up a volume of 19th century American Poetry from the library last month. This spam is more accessible and meaningful to me for the most part. Melville is kinda interesting, you should check him out if you have a hankering for inaccessible literature.

The first assault on my sensibilities this morning was reading an article about an American who wants to get in the Guinness Book of World records for having the longest nipple hair. The second assault on my sensibilities was finding out that there is already someone on the books. He is an Englishman. I wonder if he had to maintain his hair in its intact state in order to hold onto the distinction.

There is an unexpected twist to this blog post. I have a hair that is longer than either of these.

I am not sure if my health insurance covers the official doctor supervised measuring that the people at Guinness require to verify my tremendous accomplishment. I think it is enough that I know. If I have emotionally scarred anyone for life with this post, I would suggest that you get a qualified professional to measure the scar. Maybe you could be famous too.

Edit:

I was going to do a video blog on this subject but my web cam caused a fatal error on my computer… Anyway, here is a short document. I have to stop pulling this thing or it’s going to break. Then I will just be normal like the rest of you.

Britney Spears has personally written what may be the first novellization of a reality show.

Go read through the entire 880 words addressed to Britney’s fans, it is a roller coaster ride of emotions, running the gammit from denial to…denial.

This is not the first time that Britney Spears has written a tome. Her first one went on and on about her life, but tellingly failed to make even one mention of her baby.

I looked around the Britney Spears website earier today. The fragrance In Control is out of stock. All the Alanis Morissette fans bought it to use ironically.

I saw a picture of Paris Hilton reading The Art Of War. I am dying to know what she thinks of the ancient Chinese book. The 2003 English translation is a very trendy accessory and I suspect that she may have used what she learned in chapter XII., Attacking with Fire in her proxy attack on Lindsay Lohan.

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl is on the list of books that George W. Bush claims to have read. I waited for the movie to come out. I thought it was pre-mature to rush into a story before it had been properly vetted by some Hollywood liberal types.

The incongruous visage of Elliot Mintz, looking quite weary as he strode alongside Paris Hilton who was tittering along behind a beligerant Brandon Davis last year was oddly fascinating to me. His title is that of publicist, but he seems to carry a lot of purses.

I did a bit of research today and found out that he worked for John and Yoko and that he has been a broadcaster off and on for decades. Here is a podcast of him presenting the LOST LENNON TAPES:

The occurance this week of Paris publicly dismissing him in an effort to deflect blame for something she has been convicted of and then him continuing to work for her as if it was business as usual…makes me thing maybe there are LOST PARIS HILTON TAPES as well.

I don’t know about any real listing system for people in the blogosphere. I think various little cliques that have some statistical significance claim to be A-listers.

Anyway, I am going to talk mysteriously about the fact that an A-list blogger, self proclaimed or otherwise, has been called out about his link-baiting posts. The man who did the cookware color assessment suggested that a slightly more restrained and finessed use of this technique would be useful for us K-listers as well. These are posts in which a blogger makes a controversial statement with the premeditated intention of getting readers with strong views to link to the post.

I have done this myself on occasion. And I am going to do it again now. And, yes, I know you’re not supposed to let everyone know that you are link-baiting.

Edit: I had seven very controversial and inflammatory statements all typed up and ready to publish. I even did a spell check on some of the nasty words that I don’t normally use. And then I wussed out.

I would like to point out that the front runner in the BCA’s for Best Blog Of All Time is about cute animals.

I have probably mentioned my lack of stuff on this blog before. Being happy with what you have is one of the best feelings in the world. So what was I doing at a car boot sale this Sunday? Well my kids are involved in the SPCA, which had a table set up, so they wanted to check it out.

Here are the treasures that one of them found there:

I had no intention of buying anything, unless I saw a book at the SPCA table. My wife bought a book by Elizabeth David. I bought three audio cassettes. The one that I was happiest about was Look At Them Beans by the late Johnny Cash. It is unfortunately a bit worn out.