We decided to splurge on pizzas for our Friday snack break. I was trying to use Google to find the phone number of the bakeries that are the most renowned. When the thumbnail for this YouTube video appeared on the first page for my search, I had to check it out.

Maltese is an interesting language. It is so interesting that it seems like it is physically impossible for me to pronounce the names of my favorite foods correctly. I got someone else to call in our order.

I did it for science. I was using a shared computer that had the moderate filtering switched off on its Google preferences. I was looking for a picture of the cast of Friends to use for a humorous photochop. To my surprise, an image search using the word friends has porn on the very first page.

I was curious if the same was true for other common words…

Love… check.

Big… check.

Small… check.

Round… check.

Sweet… check.

Strong… check.

Nun… (ok, it’s not a common word, but I had to know)… check.

Anyway, a few words were too obvious to be worth mentioning. Words like school, hotel and church didn’t have porn on the first page.

The Internet is going to be closed on Christmas Day with the exception of essential services.

This will take effect at 12:00:01 am on December 25th.

Merry Christmas Everyone

We are so lucky to have a working computer with free internet in our room. I just noticed that there are a whack of searches from past occupants in the Google drop down. I found a few interesting search queries like how to clean recent screen names in msn messenger and ginzu jet sex, which , it turns out, is a band name and song title. I had to look to make sure.

George W. Bush and John Kerry aren’t going to be too happy about this. I am going to expose the secret of the infamous ‘Skull and Bones Society.’

First I am going to show you the secret hide-out:

View Larger Map

Now for the big secret (drum roll please…)

There is no secret. They are just a group of white rich dudes with a huge collective sense of entitlement. They propagate exclusivity for its own sake. They are like the 19th century version of Mac users, but gayer.

I don’t know if I am really going to do that title justice in this post. With the attention being paid to my other blog, I have started to feel like I am talking to myself a lot of the time here.

I decided a little while ago to avoid doing most of the advisable things that people do to increase readership. I want to try unique things and wait to see if they work.

I recently got my blog to #1 for the Google query look at my blog. That hasn’t generated much traffic. When I checked to see if I was still there I noticed that the text blurb with my blog link had been updated and I am worried that it might be misconstrued…

I think explosives are a valuable social and emotional outlet in my community.

This was from yesterday and I would like to point out that I was talking about fireworks.

The memes that I take part in over the weekend generate some traffic and I enjoy interacting with the other participants. I really don’t want to pile on a whole bunch of memes though.

My ‘Naked Week’ was fun. That’s the kind of thing that you can only do once in a PG blog.

There are so many blogs on the Internet. There are blogs that I really like that I end up not visiting for weeks because I am too busy with everything else. How can I expect to have a devoted following when I am mostly writing in a way that is meant to amuse myself? I am looking for an actual answer to that question. Anytime I think up an oddball way to draw attention to myself I will give it careful consideration. If I can tailor it to suit societal norms, I will do it.

I often think that people using the Internet should be called browsers. I have a Bachelors Degree in Animal Science, so I am well acquainted with the original meaning of browser. It is an animal that spends much of its waking hours traveling along biting off small selected portions of a number of different plants.

12 years ago, when I looked out my window and saw a white-tailed deer having a bite of the MacIntosh apple tree that the previous homeowner had spent much money on…the voice in my head said “CAN I HELP YOU ?” The imaginary deer voice in my head said “NO THANKS, I’M JUST BROWSING.”

Anyway, I was going to talk about how we often skip over and miss some very good bits of the Internet as we are browsing. The thing I noticed today for the first time was Google Books. I don’t know how I managed to be oblivious to it up until today.

For a long time now, I have been taking every chance I could find to suggest to my readers that they avoid watching the MOST VIEWED on YouTube. I avoid it as much as possible. The last one I watched was the concert ending montage of home movies of a young Diana Spencer. For the most part the most viewed section of YouTube perpetuates mediocrity.

NoGoodTV is less than mediocre. I want to call them out as being a load’O'crap. They label the majority of their videos as ‘uncensored’… That is total crap. Their videos have to meet the terms of service set out by YouTube, who is owned by Google, who knows ALL about censorship.

Their tactic of putting ‘dirty version’ or ‘uncensored’ on all their videos is about as edgy as ‘You Can’t Do That On Television.’

The saddest part of this is that it works. This crappy television channel type of thing ( I don’t know if there is a TV channel, I don’t watch TV much ) almost always has several videos on the most viewed pages.

I just thought this was a little bit funny. I don’t know if the searcher found what he was looking for.

On an unrelated issue, I noticed that scientist Rick Pope on Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show wears brown corduroy trousers. Are they back in style, or is he just a dufus?