That’s right, Michael Jackson.

Remember him? You know… kinda weird… there was a reasonable doubt as to whether he molested children… he also sings.

Anyway, every now and then I take a quick glance down my list of categories and write up a post on a celebrity who hasn’t felt that warm glow of limelight for some time. I think I know why Michael has long periods of being ignored by the tabloid media, that same media that is being begged to leave Britney alone. He goes away.

Oh, and it is my understanding that he doesn’t drive.

(MJ photo by Alan Light)

Barely contained insanity might have common effects on the facial expressions of human beings. Or maybe these two do really look a little bit alike and the commonality between these two photos is as simple as a lack of sincerity.

Michael Jackson has a birthday coming up in a few weeks. He will be 49.

I wonder what Britney Spears will look like when she is 49?

There is a phenomenon that some celebrities rely on and others dread. The American public has a very short attention span. I was looking at the list of celebrities that I considered worthy of their own category back when this blog was primarily celebrity news and gossip. Many of them do not enter the consciousness of a typical American on even a weekly basis anymore. I don’t watch television. Maybe those various shows that have a capital E in the title remind people.

My point is Britney Spears and lesser entities like Lindsay Lohan use public misbehavior as a device to maintain the public interest. Britney protests the attention, but I think she lives in constant fear of losing it. People like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live their lives largely in private and are talked about less and less in the tabloids and elsewhere despite the immeasurable degree to which their relationship initially captured the public imagination

Have you seen my post? It was a rant about how Britney Spears is becoming more and more like Michael Jackson.

I was really on a roll and then when I went to post it…Pooof…

I thought the comment about how they should team up for Dancing with the Stars was brilliant. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

I don’t follow the real estate values in California very closely. The climate is very nice there. They call it a Mediterranean climate. Since I am not a celebrity, when I decided to leave Canada for a warmer place I went to the Mediterranean. Houses are very expensive to purchase here, but they are surprisingly cheap to rent.

I find out about house prices in California when celebrities get married and when they get divorced. Avril Lavigne and her new husband are shelling out about $10 million. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lache sold their Newlyweds home to a d-list actor for something over $3 million. Tom Green has irrevocably altered his nice 7 figure bungalow by retrofitting it into a broadcast studio for his web channel. And Steve O peed on his chairs.

I can understand why busy actors and actresses might need to have a house in Southern California, it’s the singers that I don’t get. Britney Spears claims to hate the spotlight, but she continues to live in the midst of it. She owns several homes including one in Southern California. If you are a smart celebrity homes can be a great investment. Brad Pitt has a house fetish. He likes houses that can be used as projects. He has had generous block parties to appease his neighbors and make up for all the construction. He is also too busy to actually spend much time living in the houses that he acquires and works on.

ValuesInfo.com can be used to get an idea of what your own home is worth, or you can use it to get an idea what homes in other neighborhoods are worth. I actually used it last year by plugging in celebrity addresses. It was fun.

There are some instrumental parts of Toxic by Britney Spears and Billy Jean by Michael Jackson that I think would mash really well. I don’t know if it’s been done. I prefer mash-ups that are inspired by complimentary music to ones that are done because you can make a witty commentary with the titles. I am going to actually try to make this one work. I may post a snippet on here if I am satisfied with the result.

Here is Britney and Michael to entertain you in the meantime. Why does fame make people crazy?

I was going to make a post about how Pepsi has bad luck as far as having celebrity spokepeople crash and burn. Michael Jackson was literally burned while doing a commercial. Michael Richards is on the list too. The list of celebrity spokespersons who have worked for Pepsi is so long that I don’t honestly think they are doing that bad as far as controversies go. They’ve had everyone from the Osmonds to the Osbournes. Bob Dole was in a Pepsi commercial.

I was going to try and start a pole asking what former Pepsi slogan best matches the recent public displays made by their spokesperson Britney Spears. This is not the place for such frivolity.

Michael Jackson fans have reportedly demanded refunds after Jackson’s pitiful performance at the World Music Awards. In his defense, he has been telling them that he is BAD for a couple of decades.

Michael Jackson has been in the studio with Will I Am of Black Eyed Peas fame recently. It is rumored that when Will asked him a pointed question about the contents of a certain trunk, the trunk was promptly destroyed and Will was made to sign yet another non-disclosure form.

A positive review that doesn’t mention the performance…

A web page with Kirsty Alley’s face on it says that the average crack cocaine sentence in the US is 120 months.  Dallas Austin has received a pardon for possession of cocaine for personal use by a Dubai court yesterday.  Oh, those draconian Arabs…

Dallas Austin did work for Michael Jackson, who has friends in Dubai.

…I don’t have ten reasons, and I don’t want to get another legal letter from WORLDWIDE PANTS Inc.

Here’s the number one reason that I thought he would stay in Bahrain:

“Bahrain is, in a sense, the Las Vegas of The Middle East. Muslims say that a black cloud hangs over Bahrain that Allah cannot see through.  Apparently they found a loophole in the Koran.”

Anyway, the official word is that Michael wants to get busy with projects and collaborations and such.  Bahrain was too isolated for this kind of business.  They have EuroDisney in France…and wine.

Michael Jackson