I remarked earlier this week about how Paris Hilton’s publicist used to be employed in that same capacity by John Lennon.

I found an interesting parallel while researching a current political story. The president of a university that is embroiled in controversy because he invited his old employer George W. Bush to give this year’s commencement speech spent twelve years working as legal council for…

…Mother Teresa.

George has given his speech. It drew a crowd. No word on the content except to say that he didn’t mention the thing that is defining his Presidency because, well, you know.

Go take a look at the sculpture of Pari Hilton. Now that everybody has hit the link and will never navigate back to my site, I will just ramble on to myself…

For the most part, the sculpture is a fairly realistic rendering of Paris. She is naked and on her back. She has a cell phone and a tiara.

There is something a bit unbelievable about the pose. She is supposed to be dead to symbolize the deadly risk of impaired driving. Her Chihuahua is at her side. I personally think that the dog would be eating her face rather than looking concerned. Am I a bad person for thinking this? I have a degree in Animal Science.

The incongruous visage of Elliot Mintz, looking quite weary as he strode alongside Paris Hilton who was tittering along behind a beligerant Brandon Davis last year was oddly fascinating to me. His title is that of publicist, but he seems to carry a lot of purses.

I did a bit of research today and found out that he worked for John and Yoko and that he has been a broadcaster off and on for decades. Here is a podcast of him presenting the LOST LENNON TAPES:

The occurance this week of Paris publicly dismissing him in an effort to deflect blame for something she has been convicted of and then him continuing to work for her as if it was business as usual…makes me thing maybe there are LOST PARIS HILTON TAPES as well.

There is a phenomenon that some celebrities rely on and others dread. The American public has a very short attention span. I was looking at the list of celebrities that I considered worthy of their own category back when this blog was primarily celebrity news and gossip. Many of them do not enter the consciousness of a typical American on even a weekly basis anymore. I don’t watch television. Maybe those various shows that have a capital E in the title remind people.

My point is Britney Spears and lesser entities like Lindsay Lohan use public misbehavior as a device to maintain the public interest. Britney protests the attention, but I think she lives in constant fear of losing it. People like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live their lives largely in private and are talked about less and less in the tabloids and elsewhere despite the immeasurable degree to which their relationship initially captured the public imagination

Paris Hilton may actually serve time behind bars.

Elliot Mintz, her purse carrier/representative will now be in charge of handling all matters pertaining to situational homosexuality.

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:
A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

I don’t follow the real estate values in California very closely. The climate is very nice there. They call it a Mediterranean climate. Since I am not a celebrity, when I decided to leave Canada for a warmer place I went to the Mediterranean. Houses are very expensive to purchase here, but they are surprisingly cheap to rent.

I find out about house prices in California when celebrities get married and when they get divorced. Avril Lavigne and her new husband are shelling out about $10 million. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lache sold their Newlyweds home to a d-list actor for something over $3 million. Tom Green has irrevocably altered his nice 7 figure bungalow by retrofitting it into a broadcast studio for his web channel. And Steve O peed on his chairs.

I can understand why busy actors and actresses might need to have a house in Southern California, it’s the singers that I don’t get. Britney Spears claims to hate the spotlight, but she continues to live in the midst of it. She owns several homes including one in Southern California. If you are a smart celebrity homes can be a great investment. Brad Pitt has a house fetish. He likes houses that can be used as projects. He has had generous block parties to appease his neighbors and make up for all the construction. He is also too busy to actually spend much time living in the houses that he acquires and works on.

ValuesInfo.com can be used to get an idea of what your own home is worth, or you can use it to get an idea what homes in other neighborhoods are worth. I actually used it last year by plugging in celebrity addresses. It was fun.

Paris Hilton allegedly had a $100,000 watch stolen by an LAX airport security worker. The man returned the watch immediately after he realized that he was being observed. The man has been arrested as part of a crackdown on this type of crime at the airport.

My source didn’t bring this issue up…if these security worker are busy waiting for their chance to score some bling to sell to support their gambling habit or drug habit or whatever it is that drives them…do you think they were keeping an eye out for terrorists as well?

I convinced my daughters to put their laptop in checked baggage recently even though I knew it put it at some risk of being stolen. I did so specifically because I thought that to distracted teenagers with a computer would look like a mark to a criminal mind, where all the bags look the same. Theft from baggage is more of a random act, your bag happens to be in the control of a dishonest person when his supervisor is not watching.

Certain types of celebrities are rarely if ever seen driving for themselves, yet time and time again we see the Lindsay Lohan’s and the Paris Hilton’s of step out of a club and into a driver’s seat.

Maybe something changed when Princess Diana met with an untimely end partly as the result of her Driver’s negligence. The situation with Paris is especially odd given the fact that she has Elliot Mintz accompany her everywhere, and he seems to take everything relatively seriously. I think there is a common strategy of having two vehicles for an outing, possibly so the special people can talk privately in between clubs while the bodyguards and purse carrying toadies follow along in a black SUV. Have I been hiding the fact that I hate them fairly well so far?

I can just feel it. The AP story about not printing Paris Hilton stories was the beginning of the beginning of the end of her improbably elongated 15 minutes of fame. Yes, she COULD flash her genitals at the paparazzi, but that too has a shelf life. In fact, I heard that if you do it so frequently that it becomes a state rather than an event, it is considered a crime.

All the really HOT celebrities are blinging their phones up with lead crystals. This is a California thing. Another California thing is legislating the bejeezus out of every aspect of human existence. So at the bottom of a page full of b-listers nuzzling up to their shimmery cell phones, we have the following words…

Prop 65 Warning:
Consuming food or beverage that have been kept or served in leaded crystals products* or handling products made of leaded crystal will expose you to lead - a chemical known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.
* This does not apply to: Baccarat decanters, flacons, stoppered pitchers, mustard and jam pots.

That’s HOT