Baby Tickers are all the rage on blogs these days. I can never know what it is like to feel another person growing inside of me and so I decided to make my own widget. I have lived more days than I have left. That’s a happy thought.

Credit goes to Babystrology.com for the widget design and the CDC for the estimate of how many days I have left. I might make an animated gif out of this the next time I get really bored.

It was just the other day. It was in North Dakota. Barack Obama, in an effort to court those elusive ‘Reagan Democrats’ Turned away from the crowd and looked up at the edifice behind him. The words were loud and filled with determination. He said “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this Corn Palace!”

I predict that Dakotians both North and South will soon be reunited

She didn’t know she’d been in bed with Ruff McGruff until she turned on the light…

I like to think that I Google my full name less frequently than a lot of people. The various little efforts to boycott Google may have skewed the statistics to the point that I am above the median level of self absorption. Anyway, I was very surprised to find out that Martin Higgins was doing something very subversive and somewhat entertaining. He has apparently been infiltrating Fat Acceptance groups and directing them to protest against Anti-Gym a company that uses advertising that is designed to offend fat people. The catch is that he is working for Anti-Gym.

This kind of guerrilla marketing is an invention born of necessity to some degree because the face of Anti-Gym, Michael Karolchyk, is finding that many media outlets are responding to public outrage by pulling his commercials. It’s interesting to note that with the guerrilla marketing, the same media companies that shy away from selling him advertising space will probably give him free publicity by covering the protests. Michael Karolchyk regularly comes out of his gym and addresses the protesters using a bull horn.

Here is a short and very bizarre video, I think the older guy is Martin Higgins…

The Cyclical Popularity of Flip Flops is probably a better title for a doctoral thesis than it is for a blog post. The interest in flip flops does appear to have a very well defined cycle as we can see in this graph that was compiled from magical mysterious non-existent data:

Kenny Chesney’s “Flip Flop Summer Tour” did not seem to have a big influence on the popularity of flip flops, but there was an increased interest in the term “I am not gay” late this summer.

Bad Boy Rapper 50 cent and Canadian Groove Rockers Nickelback are rumored to be teaming up for a Christmas album. In addition there will be a PayPerView concert special and a tour of select cities. Their major sponsor will be Colt 45.

Citing the past successes of the Michael Jackson/Paul Mccartney and Nelly/Phil McGraw team ups, Curtis and Chad are predicting huge revenues from the uncritical moron demographic.

Speaking in stilted sentences while working out vigorously on his Bo-Flex, Cuban leader Fidel Castro cast aspersions on the manhood of Perez Hilton. This personal attack is in response to Perez’ announcement that there is going to be an announcement that Castro is dead.

Mreoww!!

Yes, Jennifer Lopez has become disenchanted with the singing and the dancing and the acting. She wants to go back to her long abandoned career as a welder. If you want a piece of the hot action, why not enrol at the J Lo School of Welding? Take courses with modules called ‘Butt Joints Fillet welds all positions’.

My thoughts are with you… You Can Do It!

I strayed a few clicks away from the News.Google.com landing page the other day and watched a video featuring Dennis Miller helping Bill O’Really recap his non interview with a US Senator.

I felt pretty repulsed by Dennis Miller. I haven’t closely followed his performances during this century. When I was a residence assistant at college in the early 90’s, I used to catch SNL in the basement TV room quite regularly. That Dennis Miller and this one do not seem to be the same person.

I was so bothered by what I saw that it really got me thinking about this man and his public persona. I started to think that it was an elaborate joke. I thought that would make for a good blog post. After a bit of research though, I found out that Whitehouse.gov made all the points I was planning to make in the form of a brilliant fake interview with Miller in 2004. I guess the only thing I can add is that his fake chicken hawk is more convincing than Stephen Colbert’s. The transparency of Stephen’s rapport is by design and very much to his advantage. Dennis Miller, the real Dennis Miller, is caught in a trap of his own making.

I love you Dennis, in that I have a love for all mankind and want us to somehow make things right (as in the opposite of wrong, not the opposite of left).

IPhone Calamari Commercial Parody - video powered by Metacafe

Peter Coffin created a very funny alternate voice-over for this iPhone advertisement. I went to his site, PeterCoffin.com to tell him that MarvelAppearances was hiring people to act as Spiderman for various promotions this summer. I found out that he is finding cool ways to make money doing the stuff he enjoys. Several video sharing sites now have some form of revenue sharing. I could potentially get some money from Revver at some point. I am hoping that YouTube gets something going on with revenue sharing as well. I think some of their recent changes are building up to that.