After watching the following video, I decided to check out the address of the Orlando scientology office on Google Maps.

When I saw that there was Street Level available for the location, I had to click on it. While I was checking out the area, something wonky happened. I blame scientology. Here is a screen cap…

I have never had this happen to me before. Ok, so I have never used Firefox with Street Level before, but that is BESIDE THE POINT!!!

The video gets a little old after awhile, I would suggest playing this one at the same time to make it less boring.

According to most sources, a Doppelgänger is a sinister form of bi location. I always suspected that Tom Cruise was at the very least bi, but SINISTER?

No, the guy with the eyes of Tom Cruise and that weird, confident, smiley expression that offered me a free personality test on O’Connell Street in Dublin on Monday evening was not at all sinister. I pleaded with my wife to let me take him up on his offer as we waited at the crosswalk for the little green man to light up. We had a bus to catch so she was not very amenable to the idea.

He didn’t look EXACTLY like Tom Cruise. He looked like Tom Cruise with strawberry blond hair, which in retrospect does seem a bit sinister.

Bert Fields, the attorney for Tom Cruise has branched out into the field of literary review. He had the following thing to say about Tom Cruise, An Unauthorized Biography…

It’s a boring, poorly researched book by a man who never talked to anyone involved in Tom Cruise’s life or anyone close to him. There’s no real independent research. He hasn’t spoken to his mother, his sister, me, Paula Wagner, his agent, his wives, David Beckham, Will Smith, Jennifer Lopez or any of the famous directors he’s worked with. Instead you’ve got this long, boring reference to people he knew 30 years ago.”

I don’t think we are going to see that quote on the dust jacket, even though the fact that Tom’s lawyer is giving interviews makes me want to read the book more. I don’t want to read it badly enough to go out and BUY it. I think I will wait for the movie to come out. I think they should get David Spade to play Tom.

The lawyer is a very smart man, he actually figured out that the content of this book has been crafted in a deliberate attempt to entice people to buy the book. That is just wrong.

The Worst Time to Suffer From Paranoia is when people are out to get you. I spent an hour pouring over the long Vanity Fair article about the tragic last days of an artistic power couple who had fled Hollywood for New York after a weird series of events and then committed suicide in separate events. The main theme running through the story is that two people who were very much in love had both descended into mental illness. One of the main targets of Theresa Duncan’s paranoia was the church of scientology. It is unclear as to whether there was any actual threat. Any correspondence coming from anyone involved with scientology could be put in the context of justifiable denials and pushback. Given the fact that there are powerful people in Hollywood who belong to this cult, I believe that there probably was some level of malicious damage to the professional and social lives of Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan. Theresa Duncan’s story about befriending Beck and offering to help him escape the cult is dubious because of Beck’s denials, but it is interesting nonetheless.

George W. Bush and John Kerry aren’t going to be too happy about this. I am going to expose the secret of the infamous ‘Skull and Bones Society.’

First I am going to show you the secret hide-out:

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Now for the big secret (drum roll please…)

There is no secret. They are just a group of white rich dudes with a huge collective sense of entitlement. They propagate exclusivity for its own sake. They are like the 19th century version of Mac users, but gayer.

I was aghast to hear the report that Katie and Tom sleep separately because of Tom’s snoring. Isn’t scientology supposed to make us into people who are not encumbered with maladies as trifling and pointless as snoring and homosexuality?

I am beginning to have some doubts about the scientology way of life.

I think that the separate bedrooms thing is a bad idea and that one thing these two should try is having sex almost every evening…together. The endorphins we are rewarded with after sex help us fall asleep together. I have a partner who sometimes snores, and it a rare thing indeed for the snoring to disturb my sleep.

The trailer for the first movie coming out of United Artists after Tom Cruise took the helm is quite gripping. Besides Cruise, the film features the inarguable acting talents of Robert Redford and Merrill Streep.

I don’t want to see this movie and I don’t want to like it. This is personal. I deeply dislike and distrust Tom Cruise. He is an egotistical zealot who is being guided by the unseen hands of an evil cult. That is just my opinion, he could actually be a really nice guy.

The cumulative star power and the politically charged subject matter mean that this movie will make money. The only thing that I can preemptively criticize is the fact that they pulled their punches as far as creating characters that are analogous to the present key players in American politics. I have to admit that both of the top guys make for pretty awful movie characters.

Perez Hilton used his photo manipulation skills to perform a bit of wink wink nudge nudge in relation to six very famous people who were hanging out together. He wrote the word ‘Swingers’ over a picture of Tom Cruise, Kate Holmes, David Beckham Victoria Beckham, Will Smith and Jada Smith.

California does have a thriving swinger community. One of the hallmarks of swinging is discretion. While other lifestyle choices are represented by communities who trumpet their right to love who they choose, the swingers tend to keep their choices as a well kept secret from society.

It is a well kept secret indeed. Part of the mechanism of secrecy is that it is highly unlikely that anyone will find out without being somehow involved, in which case they can’t gossip about it openly without drawing attention to themselves. It actually makes sense that A-list celebrities would stay with their own kind with regard to this activity. Fooling around in a broader community would inevitably have them rubbing up against somebody who cared more about media attention than their own reputation. I had heard rumors about Will Smith for years. An LA celebrity that I think can’t keep a secret is Tom Green. If you are a celebrity swinger in LA, do not have sex with Tom Green. Actually, I will broaden that statement to include everybody. Do not have sex with Tom Green.

Edit: I linked to another blogger in an absurd way in this blog post and she asked me to change it because she was talking about a swing band comprised of scientologists, not people who have consentual sex outside the bounds of marriage. I am going to leave the link as is. I don’t want to set a precedent. I do apologize for sullying her Nobel-Prizewinneriness with my absurdity.

There is a phenomenon that some celebrities rely on and others dread. The American public has a very short attention span. I was looking at the list of celebrities that I considered worthy of their own category back when this blog was primarily celebrity news and gossip. Many of them do not enter the consciousness of a typical American on even a weekly basis anymore. I don’t watch television. Maybe those various shows that have a capital E in the title remind people.

My point is Britney Spears and lesser entities like Lindsay Lohan use public misbehavior as a device to maintain the public interest. Britney protests the attention, but I think she lives in constant fear of losing it. People like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie live their lives largely in private and are talked about less and less in the tabloids and elsewhere despite the immeasurable degree to which their relationship initially captured the public imagination

It used to be that sitcoms were the dominant genre of television show. Those days are long gone. I don’t watch television so my viewpoint is very tangential.

There have been a several big screen stars that made the move back to television to star in sitcoms. Brooke Shields, Emilio Estevez, Kirstie Alley, Michael J. Fox, James Belushi, I just went out into the hallway to get a list and I have already forgotten some names.

I have been wondering if there will be of this in the future. They usually opt for a reality show in this day and age. They are less work and more ego boost. They might be more money as well. Kirstie Alley did a sitcom for a year or two and then ended up opting for the reality show deal later on. Molly Ringwald was a media darling when she left semi retirement to start in a sitcom and it only ran for 1/2 of a season.

I think Tom Cruise should be the star of a sitcom. All the big networks should be working on shows to pitch to him. Here are some quick ideas that I came up with:

Ok, I had better stop there. His show could come on right after Oprah.