Total Dismay

She didn’t know she’d been in bed with Ruff McGruff until she turned on the light…

By Martin Higgins BSc. et al.

This diagram illustrates the downward spiral of Britney Spears. It clearly proves that big sunglasses make you crazy.

References: teh internets, the voices in my head

I haven’t kept a log of how many times I have come up with a great name for something and come to find that it is already taken.

We were sitting around the kitchen table and I said the word Hinternet for no particular reason. My son asked me what I meant and I explained it as it came to me. The Hinternet is a web of connected computers way out in the wilderness where there are no human inhabitants. They are not connected to the Internet, that would be weird.

When I googled the word, I found out that people duct tape Linksys routers and ham radios together to create crappy DIY long distance wireless networks. At first I thought this might appeal to crack pot revolutionaries, until I read further an saw that it is very hard to have secure communications over these radio signals. I think my idea is better.

The man who wrote the words living well is the best revenge died 374 years ago.

He died in his early 40’s as the result of tuberculosis. Back then living well was a relative term.

Here is an old SNL quote…

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Where am I going with this? Oh, one last thing…George Herbert, the guy who said the living well thing…his collection of poems is called “The Temple: Sacred Poems and Private Ejaculations.”

Just in case there are some doubts, the contest that I announced earlier this month is indeed very real. I think I need to make a point of saying that the cash prize is an option and that, if the winner were to choose the mystery prize instead, I guarantee that it will have a value that exceeds the cash prize.

With the news that is being hinted at in some sectors and avoided carefully in others, I am wondering what $6 USD will buy this coming October.

There are two very good reasons why the ampersand is Kenny Chesney’s favorite symbol. One reason is that you can’t say ampersand without saying sand. Kenny loves sand… and flip flops.

&

The most important reason has to do with his newest album, Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates. There by using ‘&’ as opposed to ‘and’ he is making it more difficult for pranksters to insert the word ‘Ass’ in front of ‘Pirates’.

The motto of the Scouts is Be Prepared, right?

They apparently didn’t know that the other guys were bringing pikes.

My personal motto is Don’t Bring a Glockenspiel to a Pike Fight.

See, last week this might have been funny. This week it simply is not.

I have a whole series of identifiable celebrity feet transgressing the sanctity of their neighbor’s stall. I got held up trying to make a convincing Kenny Chesney foot overture (underture???) Did you ever notice that most of the photographs of flip flops on the Internet don’t have feet in them? And the rest of them are all somehow involved with Kerry’s Presidential campaign? What is up with that?

Sometimes an idea gets stuck in my head and I end up doing a really half-assed job of carrying it out just so I can get on with my life. This movie is the result of one of those instances.

I was dismayed to find out that the Movie Maker that comes with XP can’t add credits in simple Chinese. I had to use a screen cap from Google language tools to make mine.

Source for translation of the intent of these cops: AWN Headline News

This video seems pretty harmless. The fast food corporation that owns both their asses was not amused and has been pleading with Filipinos to stop uploading and passing around the video.

Here is a sentence from Wikipedia that needs citation:

“Should a drone succeed in mating it will soon die because the penis and associated abdominal tissues are ripped from the drone’s body at sexual intercourse.”

If you can verify this supposed fact, please make a bee-line for the entry for drones.