I am not making light of a serious medical condition. I am genuinely concerned after discovering the following image on my computer and having no idea of what point I was trying to make.

I spent several hours this morning searching for information in the Internet that exists in my subconscious mind. This Alternet is less reliable, but I am able to access it while lying in bed. I was going to have quite the story about George Bush and a small part that he played in some movie before becoming President. He was wearing short shorts.

I posted an Atari commercial last week. It was in some kind of context. In reality, I put it on my blog because it’s unbelievable lameness made me smile. I’m not going to even try to build some kind of context around this ad. It’s just really crappy.

Kiss has to be one of the most amzing examples of product licensing in the history of mankind. Gene Simmons takes every opportunity to point out that there are Kiss™ condoms and Kiss™ caskets. He enjoys saying “We get you coming and we get you going.”

If you have ever commented on this blog you know that I do not have a verification process yet and that I moderate comments. If you operate the same way you have probably seen all the lovely spam comments that this wondrous Internet has to offer. usually they are just annoying and/or truly nasty. Sometimes they are accidentally poetic. I have had to look at them more closely lately because my entry into the Do Follow trend has resulted in a steady trickle of real comments. I like real comments.

You may have never heard of parcopresis before even though there is a six percent chance that you are afflicted with the disorder.

Parcopresis is the psychologically base inability to poop in a public toilet. If you have this problem, you will be happy to know that hypnosis can effectively treat the condition.

If you are looking for an indication that society as a whole is squeamish about the natural act of pooping, you need look know further than Amazon, where the book Everybody Poops is also available in an addition that is titled Everybody Poos. I am not sure what school board or municipal government balked at using the word poop in a health education book for children, but I think they are full of shit.

This Japanese video with amateur english subtitles is meant to be educational, but I am placing it here for entertainment purposes only. I think all my readers are potty-trained

Sources for this post: Amazon, BBC

If Kevin Costner takes really good care of himself, he might live to say ‘I told you so!’ when geopolitics shifts from being influenced by oil supplies to being influenced by fresh water supplies.

If Arnold is still Governor of California when that state runs into a water supply problem, things could get really science fictiony.

I think that something we should all consider is installing a waterless composting toilet. These things have finally gotten the benefit of modern engineering to the point where they are a sensible alternative to using countless litres of water to transport your poo to an energy consuming treatment facility, or into the Malibu coastline, depending on where you live.

water

Go to the source for details. Basically, an artist was inspired to create a life-sized chocolate figure in a Jesus Christ pose. Leaders of both Catholic and Protestant Christian groups protested. The venue that was to host an exhibit readily complied with their requests to cancel the showing. The artistic director of the gallery has resigned, reportedly in protest.

In my opinion, this art is something that would have been allowed to be shown in a secular venue with only a murmur of disdain from clergy a few years ago. After the awful incidents resulting from the insensitive Danish cartoon publication, Christians with influence feel compelled to turn up the volume of their protests. I am posting a picture of the artwork. If anyone asks me to take it down, politely or otherwise. I will. I’m not trying to make a point. Well actually I’m trying to make the point that I am not trying to make a point.

I have another blog in a very strange corner of the web. I recently started a practice of editing timestamps as a sort of allegory. I won’t do it on this blog so don’t worry, everything here was posted when it says it was posted…or was it?

Maybe I wrote this very post from some time in the distant future. Maybe I didn’t even use a computer. Maybe I jokingly posted this from an era where humans can publish things on the internet via an implant in their brains. I’ve already told you too much…

I learned through an innocent social activity on the Internet that he plural form of penis is penii. It’s weird that I didn’t know that, I took a university course in reproductive physiology. I guess I only have one and it’s the only one that I have really been concerned with. Hence the absence of penii from my vocabulary.

Paparazzi is a plural word. They are a bunch of dicks. I thought I would try and help improve people’s vocabularies by teaching them the singular form of this word. It is rarely used because they tend to be identified by their mobbing behavior. If you saw a paparazzo on the street by himself, you might assume he is just a guy with a camera.

I try to be funny. The title of this blog is sarcastic. It is from a lame late 80’s Canadian rock song.

There is a bit of a personal connection to the term, but it is very tenuous. When my wife was in her late teens, she was working as a chef in a trendy Toronto restaurant that used to serve the occasional celebrity. One day a record company called up and made a reservation for a big table. One of my wife’s close friends at the restaurant was beside himself in a very gay way (not that there is anything wrong with it) because he was SURE that the Hothouse Flowers were coming for dinner. My wife was pleased with this prospect as well.

He was wrong. The table was, to their total dismay, for The Northern Pikes.

These old Canadian music videos never seem to get flagged for copyright issues.

Over the weekend Britney Spears was rushed to the hospital. Those of us who spend any time at all worrying about these things worried — had she relapsed? Prolapsed? Collapsed? Synapsed? No, luckily, none of the above. Britney just had a toothache and as we all know it’s hard to find a dentist on a Sunday afternoon.